George Constantinoff @AlphaCurb
Reviews
Space Rangers 2: Dominators (Windows)
[more of a series review, got SR2 HD today) A wacky layered cake of game genres
The Good
SR dilogy (and different variants of the 2nd chapter) lacks originality as a whole, but each individual "layer" at least TRIES to be original!
Action mode (press space within RTS mode to enter it for highlighted unit in group, or for the only selected unit) is kinda fun and is often a smarter choice than using units in fully RTS mode.
The Bad
Space layer kink: no way to "lock on" targets, often you'll miss the planet - be it by a mere 10 degrees or a whoppign 150 as you try to reach it.
RTS layer kinks: No "follow me" order in action mode, no "hold order in RTS mode
Occasional story weirdness - Hire a whole spaceship to deliver a toothbrush or an external HDD?!?
The Bottom Line
Summary (spoilers reduced):
Advanced, greedy and hateful beings invade known sector
Lazy brutes retreat, but first nuke own world.
After the invaders' defeat (SR1 end), lazy brutes' self-repairing/replicating tech mixed with invader tech remains became a sentient race of machines that despise all sentient life. Fearfully dubbed the "Dominators", they are the main antagonists of the second episode. In "A War Apart", a threat of pirates and marauders is about as strong as that of the Dominators (but otherwise it's an enhanced/expanded remake of the second episode).
Gameplay-wise, a wacky layered cake: A point-to-point RPG with mosaic map; Each module within it is a sync-turn "interrupted time" tactical scenario; Arcade-y hyperspace; Cannon Fodder/Nether Earth mixup RTS layer with action mode; And an occasional text adventure sequence!
By George Constantinoff on April 6, 2015
Broforce Brototype (Windows)
Mario meets Super Crate Box & 80s' "bomb hell" movies
The Good
Nothing
The Bad
Horribly punishing, extra lives pool refilled with prisoners (feels kinda lame).
The Bottom Line
3 parts Mario, 4 parts 80s' "bomb hell" movie, 1 part Super Crate Box
By George Constantinoff on August 11, 2014
Swords & Soldiers (Windows)
Cartoonish take on "soldier sequencer" games.
The Good
Cool visuals
The Bad
Soldier sequencers are boring, even if slightly spiced up by addition of spellcasting.
The Bottom Line
Take Rescue Raiders. Remove helicopters. What do you get? A "soldier sequencer" game, where proper sequencing/timing of your soldiers is key. While the visuals are side-scrolling 2D, without the copters gameplay effectively becomes 1D - just dots moving along the line.
Now add vulnerable "workers" that have to leave the village (even if the mine is close to it), add a research tree - and you got it!
By George Constantinoff on March 21, 2014
Toki Tori (Windows)
A thoughtful game in Steam's sea of crapped-out shooters
The Good
Compared to original, I liked the rewind feature, less blob-eyed protagonist, and ability to use a pointer to reach a destination.
The Bad
Bad music, frozen "winter tile set" kinda ruins the first zone and doesn't match the title screen style for the zone.
The Bottom Line
Tired of old, dumb platform games about plumbers on drugs? Tired of drunken machine-gun obsessed marines seeing man-sized bugs? Fire up this game and forget about the crapped-out games - but don't relax, you'll need all your thinking capacity to solve each devilishly-crafted level.
- Review covers Win/Mac/Lin editions of the game, which are the same game sold on same service.
By George Constantinoff on December 21, 2013
Choose an Enemy (DOS)
A first-person fighting game with only 3 moves
The Good
unique in being first-person and having each hand control a corresponding on-screen fist.
Surprisingly good GFX for an independent game of the time, probably due to images being digitized photos.
The Bad
Only 3 moves: left/right punch (Shift keys), setback (Space).
BAD sound (PC Speaker only)
The Bottom Line
This is supposedly a demo of a never-released full game that would have featured more enemies and a face recognition program to allow turning photos of people into enemies.
The story is completely rudimentary: someone attacks your girlfriend. Enemies have different look, fight scene background, and difficulty. Truly, the first-person perspective and use of digitized photos are the only unique things about this game.
By George Constantinoff on July 8, 2013
SPAZ: Space Pirates and Zombies (Windows)
Don't buy this crap
The Good
nothing
The Bad
stupid ship management, dumb controls, inability to "dispatch" ships on a mission, inability of AI to follow the right-click order (instead it's just a mark for when the player switches to that ship), and lots more.
The Bottom Line
A messy, half-butted single-player take on Dark Orbit, rather than Star Control as the developers claim.
- DISCLAIMER: Written during a "free weekend" of the game on Steam.
By George Constantinoff on June 30, 2013
Pilot Brothers: On the Track of Striped Elephant (Windows)
A Win32S gem akin to Gobliiins
The Good
quirky style and humor (learn Russian language and USSR history to fully understand it).
Retains FULL compatibility to this day
The Bad
too small window size, kinda annoying balloon trip.
The Bottom Line*
A rare striped elephant escaped from a cruel trader with the name of a chemical. Embark on a quest to save the elephant from its cruel owner.
- Most common Windows version in Russia at that time was already-dated 3.11 WG. So, the first two Pilot Bros games used Win32S. DOSbox users, don't google Win32S, install it right off the game CD!
** Win32S apps that did not use 16-bit libraries are still usable today even on 64-bit machines. You can play Pilot Bros on Windows 8!
By George Constantinoff on June 30, 2013
Mr. Driller 2 (Game Boy Advance)
Dig Dug meets Collapse (review of pretty much the entire series, rather than this one game)
The Good
Original idea of Mr. Driller - putting a character from Dig Dug series inside a Collapse board.
The Bad
Punishing. Poor use of the already lacking speech synthesizer of the Game Boy Advance. Missions differ only by starting backdrop and the goal mark, Very cheesy storyline (though that may be unnecessary for this kind of game, but then again - omitting it entirely would've been better)
The Bottom Line
Collapse board, with occasional clusters of hard blocks.
If a block falls, it may cling to first encountered block of same color.
Most block types are destroyed in color groups if they share borders (but not corners).
Blocks may also self-destruct upon forming a 4+ cluster dynamically (such as on player's actions or in a level with lots of hollows).
Hard blocks take a lot of air and several hits to destroy, and only get destroyed one-by-one (unless a self-destructing cluster is formed).
You can climb up one-block-tall walls, such as to get to an Air capsule.
Air limits your time, and adds a sense of urgency to gameplay.
One hit from a block, or running out of air, makes you lose one life.
Every 500 ft, a green wall is present (grey in one Flash version), and in mission mode breaking such a wall on certain depth is the win condition.
By George Constantinoff on June 25, 2013
Super Puzzle Platformer (Browser)
Collapse meets Super Crate Box
The Good
NOTHING
The Bad
Horribly punishing gameplay,.
Dumb HP-and-EXP merged system.
Music can't be disabled without disabling sound completely (in both regular and Plus, fixed in Deluxe)
The Bottom Line*
Remember Collapse? Throw in a Super Crate Box-style squat gunner with a squash-resistance (and weapon level) gauge, make the blocks fall from above instead of rising, make the floor deadly - and you got it. Just like Super Crate Box, if all that matters to you is the leaderboard and extreme challenge, you'd love it.
- This review describes the original version. Plus and Deluxe add more modifiers - tile sets, challenges, unlockable characters... and give the original "cape guy" a slow-fall skill. Original game jam version - Browser, Mac/Windows wrappers Plus - Adult Swim exclusive, register to submit scores publicly. Deluxe - a paid Steam version.
By George Constantinoff on June 4, 2013
E.V.O.: Search for Eden (SNES)
A grindy, controversial cartoon survival
The Good
Original side-scroller, good boss fight design.
The Bad
GRINDY, long necks are OP (as is ape/human's weapon) - in much of the levels, attacking without lunging is an advantage (except against those annoying amphibians you can't bite with a long neck). very few levels/situations try to balance it out.
White long-necks are your main fodder throughout much of Reptile and Mammal chapters.
Controversial: primitive humanoids are shown as being brown.
Weird: Even in small size, earliest ape's bone weapon is bigger than any in-game creatures' would-be bones.
The Bottom Line
A weird side-scroller that is very grindy, yet the non-grind parts are kinda fun.
By George Constantinoff on May 13, 2013
Cavewars (DOS)
Cave level of Master of Magic, separated and randomized.
The Good
Great take on Warlords/Civ/Master of Magic style.
The Bad
A bit awkward in some gameplay aspects.
The Bottom Line
The world's surface is no longer inhabitable. 8 races wage war in an enormous cave complex. Take Master of Magic, strip it of Surface and Shadow layers, make multiple cave layers - and you got the idea of what this game is all about. You'll feel right at home with the unit stack selection model used here. But time may come when you, desperate for territory, drill your way right into the enemy territory, leading to a near-instant defeat!
By George Constantinoff on January 26, 2013
Herzog (PC-88)
Nether Earth to Dune: a missing step only known in Japan
The Good
More interaction between the controlled unit and the game, compared to Nether Earth (where it was an invincible brick).
The Bad
Slow, dull gameplay, only minorly improved by the increased interactivity of the controlled unit. Removal of customization of units. Need to airlift units off the base (build at ground level in NE).
The Bottom Line
Take Nether Earth. Change the view from isometric to straight (northeastern corner, not northern corner of a tile), make the control unit able to carry other units and transform into a battle unit. Add friendly fire - and here it is, one of the first missing steps from early RTS to modern RTS.
There are other missing steps to uncover, but this game introduces gradual transition from NE to Herzog Zwei (considered the first RTS by many). In fact, NE was the first RTS.
By George Constantinoff on December 15, 2012
Clonk Rage (Windows)
Clonk - it's Diggers, Worms and Settlers in one!
The Good
Gameplay combines arcade and strategy elements, and adds side-scrolling view. Quite an interesting twist!
The Bad
Shareware. Wish it was a CD game instead!
The Bottom Line
Gameplay centers around mining, but features a production tree akin to that in Settlers series.
At least one character of the player must be alive at any time, else it counts as defeat.
Goals may vary - # gold, # colony points, race, kill the monsters, save the useful creatures, kill the other player...can even be a CTF with flintstones for weapons!
In multiplayer combat or on monster levels, Catapult can be present initially or bought. It can fire both Rocks and Flintstones (explosives).
By George Constantinoff on May 23, 2011