This Means War!

The Good
Once upon a time, before the Internet became mainstream, I would pick a software title off of the store shelf and buy it if I liked what I read on the box. This Means War was one of those titles. It had no buzz and I hadn't even heard of it before. But Microprose was printed on the side of the box, and Microprose had done me no wrong in the past.

So... I guess under the "good" category, I will say that the box had a certain shelf appeal.

The Bad
I am certain that if this game had more hype surrounding it, it'd be a legendary disaster on par with the infamous Sierra title, "Outpost". From the ground up, This Means War is a complete debacle.

For anyone who wants to see how not to make a RTS, this is a prime example. Clearly Microprose wanted to get in on the ground floor of the real time strategy craze and failed miserably. Even on a high end system (for the time) the game ran slower than a snail with a cinderblock tied around its shell. The units are boring and the premise behind the game (global warring factions jockeying for world domination) is just lame. The "leaders" in control of each faction are absurd caricatures, which seem out of place for a game that tries to take itself so seriously.

The game itself commits the cardinal sin of not being fun in the least. I imagine that the play testers were a bunch of mindless sycophants that were just grateful to have a job, otherwise this rancid, ill-conceived expedition to the edge of craptacular would have never made its way in to the shops.

The Bottom Line
Here is the recipe for making a game similar to This Means War:

Take one part Command and Conquer, Shake vigorously until all traces of fun have fallen out. Add a fistful of disdain for your customers who have brand loyalty and stir.

Leave to simmer until your stock prices go down, and release to the unsuspecting public who mistakenly believe that Microprose doesn't release junkware in order to make the quarterly earning goals.

Serve chilled.

The Good
There's really not much to say about why this game is good, the only thing I could say is that the music in it is not that bad

The Bad
The whole game itself is very hard, even though will will get through the first couple of missions with ease, it get's way impossible later on, this is because for some reason the computer oppenents always seem to outnumber you fast. To put it short the whole game looks as if it was rushed and therefore it's not that good.

The Bottom Line
My advice, avoid this game unless you are one of those gamers who likes strategy games or have played Command And Conquer too much.