Hardline

The Good
Well, let's see... um... er... AH! The uninstaller works like a charm! A-friggin'-plus!

The Bad
(DEEP BREATH) This steaming pile's main purpose in the video game world is as a shining bad example. The graphics are pixelly and repetitive, with the mixture of CG and live footage being horribly obvious. Sound is tinny and badly recorded and mixed, so that most of the time the characters sound like they're speaking through aluminum tubes. The story sucks something I can't mention, and the actors probably had to pimp themselves out to the devil after reading the script for the first time. ON TOP OF ALL THIS, your character's name is Ted Irven, and the acting style that brings this guy to life can be described as "Let's do this in one take, I just woke up from a NyQuil-induced coma." Most of the touted film clips are shots of the guy running down a hall, walking down a hall, or (proving there was SOME imagination here) turning around and walking down a hall. There were some adventure elements thrown into the shooter-on-rails format, but after using the interface to pick up the first gun these elements went largely unused. Plus, this game is just too hard. I immediately hit the net to find cheat codes, hoping the story would pick up and make the three bucks I spent worthwhile, but in the end all I wound up with was a bad taste in my mouth and a refund. Even the gratuitous sex scene they blatantly edited in wouldn't be worth the sacrifice of precious life you spend playing this thing.

The Bottom Line
Proof positive that Satan has infiltrated the entertainment industry. Grieving mothers can bring this to their court cases and will probably win large cash awards. Buy it only if you are running low on clay pigeons, since this is cheaper and more satisfying to shoot at. "Ted Irven? I don't THINK SO BLAM"