Stupid Invaders

The Good
It was hardly a good sign that it took longer to install this game than it did to install Mafia, which weighs in at exactly 3 times as big. Providing you can ignore that though, as you start Stupid Invaders up for the first time, the game cruely and maliciously tricks you into thinking it's a work of genius.

First you are mildly amused in some way by the 'Xilam' logo, which just seems classy. Surely a game with a logo like that can't let you down? Then you are treated to the intro which is utterly brilliant, albeit with a slightly childish feel to it. The quality of the animation in the cutscenes is never less than exemplary and the graphics themselves have a gorgeous clean look about them. The comic timing and look is reminiscient of the cartoon "Ren and Stimpy", which is a very good cartoon to imitate, as shown by the game's occasional moments of pure hilarity. Yes, it's hardly 'intelligent' humour, but when it works it's easily equal to the aforementioned R&S or even "Looney Toons". Examples include the moment the Clint-esque bad guy walks down the stairs to some tension building music and suddenly steps into a giant mouse-trap. You don't see it - you just hear the snap and watch his hat fly across the screen. Or the bit where your curiosity is piqued and you try and take the elavator to floor 'pi'.

The music is fine though hardly awe-inspiring, it opts for traditional 'space-alien' sounds and uses lots of wibbly Star-Trek motifs. You know the kind. The voice acting is good if slightly forced and childish and the characters are well defined. Apparently there are voice actors from the "Futurama" series (by Matt 'The Simpsons' Groening) which would explain the quality.

In fact visually and aurally, the game is more than adequate.

The Bad
But good visuals and good sounds don't a game make. Or something. If they did, then a better game would be listening to Chopin whilst staring at some paintings by Monet. Although actually, this certainly would be a better way of spending your time.

As an adventure, or as any kind of game really, Stupid Invaders is woeful. It's a clue that a game isn't really taking itself seriously as an adventure when it limits the number of items you can carry to 6. The puzzles are...well there aren't any puzzles. At least, not any enjoyable ones. I have to admit the game crashes for me on the same bit every time, and it's very near the end, so I haven't finished it. As such though, I think I've missed some of the worst bits. There is apparently a 'Simon Says' sequence and even a maze. Why would you want to go through a maze in a point-and-click game? Or ANY game? EVER?! They're not even that fun in real life. The other puzzles that I've already come across are either impossibly easy or involve sweeping the mouse across the screen to try and find some item that is hidden in the beautiful scenery.

Also, and I'm not the most knowledgable person when it comes to this stuff, I think the programming might be bad. I've been told it's the images that are the cause of my irritation. I don't know why this is the case, but apparently the image files are huge and therefore take up acres of space. Either that or they have to compressed or something.

If you choose the minimal install, the game has to read the image files off the CD (it reads something anyway) and this can mean you can get up to a 30 second pause as the game tries to load another background, even on the recommended specs. If you go for the maximum install I would imagine this problem is bypassed but as for the installation itself...well...it would be quicker to swim to the moon. Nearly 3 gig? For a point-and-click adventure game? Are you kidding?!

It goes on. The camera angles are quite bad and tend to favour prettiness over practicality. Sometimes it's even hard to navigate a simple room because of this, and they feel disjointed because of the awful level of control. You can't, for example, walk right up to a wall or stand in a doorframe because if you click there your character simply won't respond. You're doomed to stay in roughly the centre of the screen and shamble about. At worst, it feels like the characters aren't even a part of the environment.

On a completely different note, this game is even less commercial than Looking Glass' (RIP) "Thief" series. Firstly it's a point-and-click adventure, which died after Lucasarts' "Grim Fandango" introduced the 3D GRIME engine and changed the face of the genre (again), and was already dying anyway. Secondly, it's hopelessly easy and therefore alienates hardcore adventure gamers, who make up the majority of those who play these games. Thirdly, see below:

Stupid Invaders has the plot of a kids cartoon, with kiddish voices and kiddish jokes. So it's for kids right? Even though kids that young don't play these games right? No. One of the characters is a very young looking wannabe transexual. There is a scene where this character, Candy, has been abducted by a fat sweaty man in a pink bunny suit with a paedophile voice, taken to a 70s bachelor pad underneath a dung factory in the middle of a desert, photographed in compromising positions, and then raped. The last part is obviously only suggested but - Man! Also, some of the deaths are highly sinister and, even worse, random.

The Bottom Line
It bites. All the game mechanics were done better in Loom which, I believe, was made over a decade earlier. Even Monkey Islands 3 and 4 stand head and shoulders above this. Despite evidence of significant artistic talent, I can't really recommend this to anyone. Which is a pity because it's stylish, has moments of humour, and because 'old-school' adventure games like this are very thin on the ground these days.