Elvira: The Arcade Game

The Good
Elvira. O.K I liked some other stuff too. The introduction was incredible for it's time, my pre-pubescent fragile little mind was astounded beyond belief at the FMV of Elvira drawing breath. The stages are well drawn, especially the ice world. The graphics here were actually quite impressive. As you begin the stage, a single gentle flake of snow comes drifting down, followed by another, until a steady snowfall ,not a blizzard mind you, but a snowfall draws you into the icy wonderland. Unfortunately not even the presence of Elvira's shapely profile was enough to hide some painfully obvious flaws.

The Bad
Elvira, being a sultry lady of gothic demure, strides slowly and seductively along each stage. Unfortunately she strides slowly and seductively when she should be running and running fast. Elvira's hip gyrations make her the perfect target for the many nasties who seem to take offense at Elvira's low cut dress. Lucky for them they can destroy her at their leisure as she is sooo sloooow. Also 3 stages? I mean c'mon, what were they trying to pull here, I'll admit each stage is quite long. Long and boring that is.

The Bottom Line
Oh, Elvira, how I loved you from afar, but alas, I've come to realise that not everyone is perfect, or maybe they are but they just star in imperfect games. If you love Elvira you'll forgive her for this.