"Jane" introduces you to the game during the only moving video in the entire show.
The actual title screen. No kidding.
Credits use funky filters and... pandas?
Both John and Jane's parents are pressuring them to get married.
Oh no! My delicate sensibilities!
If you don't input a code at the start of the game, you get censor bars.
Input the nudie code and... mmm... side boob...
Both go through their morning routine.
John and Jane cross paths in the parking lot.
The narrator appears to taunt you about upcoming choices.
Choose the path and watch the results.
Jane can come on to John, then leave him hanging.
Jane arrives at her job interview with Mr. Thresher.
Oh, there's a strip option? Gosh. Whichever shall I pick?
The narrator's in a chicken mask now. Just... just go with it.
Depending on your choice, Jane will either pout...
... or go all in.
Pick a dead-end choice and you get the option to go back.
More than Thresher bargained for.
The "correct" path has Jane running from Thresher.
Meanwhile, a karate lady fights the narrator for control of the story.
Another choice. The manly way, or the "non-violent" way.
The non-violent way apparently is to turn John and Thresher gay.
Giving chase sends everyone on a merry romp through L.A.
It's basically three minutes of vacation photos.
The trio at Griffith Park observatory.
Not all of the digital photos are clean, but they used them anyway.
Seriously, I think every picture they took made it into the game.
Classy.
John and Thresher fight over Jane.
John wins the... epic... battle.
Meanwhile, the narrator returns and guns down the plot hijacker.
Thresher offers Jane 5 mil for one night. Will she take John's love, or the filthy money?
John gives an impassioned speech, where he flubs his line. The audio and laughter stay in, of course.
Picking the option that puts John and Jane together. Awww.
Final choice. The Hollywood ending, or something different. ...and it's different.
Taking the Hollywood ending and riding off into the sunset.
Cast photo from the ending credits. At least they seem to have had fun making it.
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